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A Chicago strip-club is offering free lap-dances to customers who donate a new Christmas-toy. The toys will be distributed to poor children whose fathers blow all their money on strippers. Read More

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On this day in 1992, the first text message was sent by a 22-year-old engineer, who texted “Merry Christmas” . . . before driving over an embankment. Read More

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Happy Birthday to Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Gary Rossington. I don’t want to say he’s getting old, but he and the band have a new song called “Rest Home Alabama.” Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A HALFWIT!

Happy Birthday to Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Gary Rossington. I don’t want to say he’s getting old, but he and the band have a new song called “Rest Home Alabama.” Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A DUNCE!

Kanye West celebrated his son, Saint’s, seventh birthday at Kim Kardashian’s house. But the boy didn’t seen to appreciate his father’s gift: a copy of “Mein Kampf.” Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A CHUMP!

On this day in 1992, the first text message was sent by a 22-year-old engineer, who texted “Merry Christmas” . . . before driving over an embankment. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A SCHLUB!

On her podcast, Duchess Meghan said she’s finding herself. And here we were, wishing she would get lost. Read More

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Happy Birthday to Britney Spears. Hard to believe she’s 41! It seems like only yesterday she was that fresh-faced girl with a bald head and no panties. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A DUMMY!

ISIS leader Abu al-Hasan al-Hashmi al-Qurashi has been killed. In lieu of flowers, the families asks that you die, you filthy infidels! Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE AN IDIOT!

The world’s largest active volcano has erupted in Hawaii, triggering a dozen earthquakes. The good news is, consumers can expect a drop in the price of lava lamps. Read More

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