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According to the “National Enquirer,” J. Edgar Hoover led the plot to kill President Kennedy. The FBI denies it, but are we really supposed to take the word of the FBI over the “National Enquirer?!” Read More

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In London, Texas, a 41-year-old female English-teacher was arrested for having sex with a 16-year-old male student. Sadly, the boy was left with a broken heart and a dangling participle. Read More

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April is Alcohol Awareness Month. According to the CDC, alcohol poisoning causes six deaths a day. Wow, it’s a miracle that I have any friends left! Read More

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In London, Texas, a 41-year-old female English-teacher was arrested for having sex with a 16-year-old male student. She apparently wasn’t a very good English-teacher because the boy had bragged to friends that he was getting lain. Read More

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Happy Birthday to rapper MC Hammer. Last night, he was pulled over by police. Do you know why? It was stop Hammer time. Read More

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Happy Birthday to rapper Salt, of Salt-N-Pepa, who is 55. Obviously, “Salt” is a stage name. Her real name is “Sodium Chloride.” Read More

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On this day in 1818, General Andrew Jackson captured Pensacola, Florida . . . throwing a wet blanket on Spring Break. Read More

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On this day in 1979, the U.S. House of Representatives began televising its daily business. It was an immediate success, leading to the placement of cameras in other high-crime areas. Read More

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According to the “New York Post,” Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan’s speaking fee is $1 million per speech. I wonder how much they would charge to shut up. Read More

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According to “Page Six,” Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez have broken up, but I don’t believe it. He could never leave her behind! Read More

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