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In Brooksville, Florida, a 28-year-old man was arrested for performing a lewd act on himself in a cemetery. Psychologists say everyone grieves differently. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A DIMWIT!

An extreme heat-wave has gripped much of Europe. It’s so hot in England, Prince Andrew is asking underage girls what they would do for a Klondike Bar. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A MUDDLEHEAD!

In India, police arrested a robber who had 7,000 rupees hidden in his rectum. He said he didn’t want his mouth to write a check his ass couldn’t cash. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A MEATBALL!

In England, a 74-year-old man was arrested after he was caught in a church having sex with a vacuum cleaner. He said the relationship was purely physical; he didn’t want any attachments. Read More

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A 96-year-old Florida woman has finally received her college diploma. She said it’s a miracle because she didn’t expect to survive Spring Break. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A MEATBALL!

The economy is getting worse. To give you an idea how bad it is, last night I saw a Mafia family eating at the Olive Garden. Read More

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According to the UN, the world population is growing at its slowest rate since 1950. It’s hard to imagine how slowly it would be growing without Elon Musk! Read More

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According to the UN, the world population is growing at its slowest rate since 1950. It’s hard to imagine how slowly it would be growing without Elon Musk! Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A CHUMP!

This week, the city of Pamplona, Spain, is hosting the Running of the Bulls. Or as the bulls call it: the “Chasing of the Jackasses.” Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A MEATBALL!

– This week, the city of Pamplona, Spain, is hosting the Running of the Bulls. It sounds dangerous, but it’s actually safer than running the same distance through Chicago. Read More

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