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“Prolific, proficient, and punctual!” AMERICAN AF Read More

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Happy Birthday to “Funky Cold Medina” rapper Tone Loc. I don’t want to say he’s getting old, but he has a new song called “Funky Cold Metamucil.” Read More

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Researchers are struggling with a shortage of lab monkeys. One prominent scientist said he’s down to his last barrel. Read More

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Rapper A$AP Rocky has launched his own fragrance. If it’s anything like his music, it stinks. Read More

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Happy Birthday to Lynyrd Skynyrd singer Johnny Van Zant. I don’t want to say he’s getting old, but he and the band have a new song called “Rest Home Alabama.” Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A CLOWN!

On this day in 2007, Kim Kardashian’s sex video was released. And to this day, it’s the only known footage of Kim displaying talent. Read More

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The Catholic Church says alligator meat is OK to eat on Lenten Fridays. Which is great news—unless you’re an alligator. Read More

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On this day in 1974, the Captain & Tennille got married. She dumped him in 2014, inspiring his song: “Love Will Keep Us Together, My Ass!” Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE AN ASS!

In Gaza, the terrorist group Hamas has produced a new TV series. It’s called “How I Met Your Mullah.” Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A DIMWIT!

Disney is laying off 7,000 employees, to which the Seven Dwarfs say: “Hi ho, hi ho, we’re out of work, you know.” Read More

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