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According to the “National Enquirer,” Tom Cruise is packing on the pounds. To give you an idea how big he is, in his next “Mission Impossible” movie, his mission is to squeeze into his pants. Read More

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Today is Cyber Monday. I didn’t want to miss out on the bargains so last night, I camped out in front of my computer. Read More

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Happy Birthday to Kim Kardashian. If you want to send a gift, she’s registered at Big Butt & Beyond. Read More

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The world’s donkey population is threatened by Chinese drugmakers, who use donkey skin to make medicine. The good news is, it’s no skin off my ass. Read More

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In Milton, Florida, a 33-year-old man was arrested for having sex with a dog. Or as he called it: “man’s best friend with benefits.” Read More

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Happy Birthday to President Biden, who is 79. He’s so hard to shop for. What do you give to the man who has everything . . . except his marbles? Read More

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In Milton, Florida, a 33-year-old man was arrested for having sex with a dog. Or as he called it: “man’s best friend with benefits.” Read More

FREE SHOW PREP!

Famed rock-and-roll photographer Mick Rock has passed away at age 72. He shot David Bowie, Carly Simon and Lou Reed—but not Marvin Gaye, who was shot by his father. Read More

From standup comic Anthony Solimini:

Wowww. That’s an amazing amount of new material. And all made me laugh out loud. Thanks so much! Read More

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Happy Birthday to President Biden, who is 79. He’s so hard to shop for. What do you give to the man who has everything . . . except his marbles? Read More

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