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FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A FAILURE!

More bad economic news. The bottom has fallen out of the Christmas-tree market. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A CHUMP!

Some theologians believe that Jesus had a younger brother, James. That’s got to be tough, being Jesus’s little brother. Everybody ignores you, but they think your brother is God’s gift. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE SCHLUB!

Scientists are warning that the world supply of frankincense could be cut in half over the next 20 years. The good news is, we have myrrh coming out the wazoo. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A MEATBALL!

Thank you so much, Ben! This is great. I love working with you. Kellie Davie, MOMCODE, Brentwood, TN (I also write speeches.) Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A DULLARD!

According to the “National Enquirer,” Kanye West’s social life is going down the drain. In fact, this year, he wasn’t invited to a single Hanukkah party. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A DOLT!

I’m afraid we’re losing our Christmas traditions. Last night, a group of carolers came to my door—which was nice, but they were lip synching. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A LUMP!

Thank you so much, Ben! This is great. I love working with you. Kellie Davie, MOMCODE, Brentwood, TN(I also write speeches.) Read More

Sunday is Christmas. So if you’re expecting relatives, you’ve got eight days to fake your own death. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A MEATBALL!

Happy Birthday to Kim Kardashian. If you want to send a gift, she’s registered at Big Butt & Beyond. Read More

FREE SHOW PREP! GET IT NOW! DON’T BE A DUNCE!

According to the State Department, the Bahamian jail where accused crypto-crook Sam Bankman-Fried is being held is infested with vermin, so he should fit right in. Read More

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